Late Bloomer
Better late than never…
My favorite cartoon when I was young was Calvin and Hobbs. One of the best quotes I read from it was, “Right now I am so far behind, I will never die.” At the time, I thought it was hilarious. Now, I am starting to wonder if it’s actually true! I don’t think I am alone in thinking that there are too many tasks to complete, and life may be passing me by. It’s easy to feel that way with our to-do list in this fast paced society. We have so many options, and everyone seems to be in a hurry, but we also expect to have things instantaneously. When something doesn’t come quickly or easily, I think it can be easy to put things off or procrastinate. Especially when it requires a lot of effort.
Speaking of which, I roll my eyes at how ridiculous I was as an 18 year old graduate starting college. I had not put a lot of effort into high school. I actually did well for the most part, minus a few classes (Like Algebra II - my lack of enthusiasm was very obvious as I nearly flunked the class.) After my first few months of college, I was shocked at how much effort it took to get good grades. Those teachers actually expected me to study!! I simply was not focused or prepared to put forth the effort to do well. Eventually, I got a two year Associates degree- after
6 ½ years! I wasted a lot of time (and I’m sure money) messing around. I kept stopping and starting, and just didn’t take it seriously.
Fast forward to my late forties and I started circling back to schooling. I got really interested in Christian counseling and studying Temperament after I had seen a professional who used these techniques with me. It had been so effective, I then decided to go through the certification program myself. Surprisingly, I did very well with all the courses. I followed up a few years later with a life coaching certification and was successful with that too. I am now 56 years old, and finally finishing my bachelors degree in Counseling. I felt a little silly at first when I thought about this, but it became very important to me to bring it full circle and finish what I should have done in my twenties.
All that to say, even though I have felt like I am so late in getting a degree, I am so glad that I am pursuing it- and I am not stopping until I complete it. As I look back at my life, I was navigating through a lot of different circumstances and just didn’t have the capacity then. I wasn’t mentally or emotionally ready, and certainly didn’t have the maturity I needed. But eventually, I was able to focus properly on things and realize my capabilities. I have needed to give myself grace and just accept that the timing is what it is. I am ok with being a late bloomer- and the Lord knows when I am ready for things, so it is either going to be in His timing, or He will help me through the delays. No matter what, I will embrace every season and be grateful for it!